Does anyone want to be divorced??

First of all, I would like to extend my apology to whom may concern to this note, since i am only inspired by some person’s failures in their “voyages”, so I therefore need to convince everybody not to consider this note as a personal assault, it is purely made by merely aiming to provide all of you other point of views you might have never thought before.

This Saturday benefits me much with pleasures which used to be scarce when I am in the weekdays. One of them is the “qualified “ infotainments in which I got inspiration to develop this note.

It was probably a weekend which shift the methods of gossiping the celebrities from one-by-one cases to a sort of kaleidoscope of similar cases. And the topic for this weekend was divorce.

The episode started somehow with a confession from a not-so-popular .... (well, it’s hard to define his profession, whether singer, actor, comedian or male mistress?) let say celebrity who publicly envoy his plan to divorce his wife because of these reasons:
a. Their marriage was not built on love
b. The initial motives behind his deciscion to get married was only popularity.
c. He is actually a damn coward j*rk.

Wow, I have to say that he is a good scriptwriter for his own “staged” marriage. Then let me be an author for the sake of the first edition of my book tittled “happily-ever-after-wedding(s).” hahaha

Frankly speaking, divorce is a common vocabulary for me. This year, so far, I heard ”breaking news” about my friend’s divorces, and it was not one, but three!!. From the tragedy of physical abuses, premarital prosecution and sexual disorientation. Hmm…those cases somewhat scare me to have my own ones.

#First Case, around February or March.
He’s in the early thirty’s, had been married for one or maybe two months, is living lonely after his wife left him desperately. His wife was hiring a lawyer to prosecute him, in case of manipulation of sexual orientation. He employed another top-rated lawyer, and won, because of the absence of a powerful law jurisdiction about his “unique” case. Happy Ending.


#Second Case, around July
He’s in the end of twenty’s, had been married for three years, is married for the second times. He allegedly did some unethical and embarassing behaviours, such as drinking and gambling. His wife indicated hypersexuality, but doesn’t reproduce at all. No criminialization, two families arrived into an agreement, divorce was done one month later. Win-Win Solution.


#Third Case, around September.
She’s in the middle of twenty’s, has been being married for five years, is suing her husband for verbal, physical and sexual harassments. She admitted that her union with her would-be-ex-husband was commited without love, but mercy. Her parents are welcoming her decision, no “harta-gono-gini”, no children, and every body is happy. Simple.


In summary, divorce is a happy ending, a win-win solution, and simple.
So, anyone’s interested???





Ratu Lanang Sejagat

Who is Luna Maya?

I’ve just watched a televison program when I typed this note, and my hands were still trembled due to my euphoria when I did that. Well, it might not be a real euphoria, I was only laughing too heavy so made my self shivered. You’re must be curious about that broadcasted program? Here I describe you as accurate as I remember:

It is Dalton Tanonaka, a US-hawaian presenter who have been contracted exclusively by Metro TV for delivering an english-version news about Indonesia from other interesting perspectives, more than just “Indonesia This Morning”.

What I watched was an interview session by Dalton and a maestro of Indonesia’s Batik, Iwan Tirta. The topic discussed was somewhat “brave”, about the fact that Iwan is a gay. Unfortunately, that is not the issue I would like to bring about.

In the end of that session, Dalton asked Iwan to play a simple game playing with some words and subjective valuations. Dalton mentioned some famous people in Indonesia, and what Iwan should do was stating one or two statements, spontaneously, about those “celebrities”.

For your information, it was a serious game, Iwan answered all the questions confidently and honestly.

Soekarno was the first name spelt, and Iwan directly said that Soekarno read a lot, even when he was incarcerated. That habbits possibled soekarno to express his knowledge in several aspects of arts such as ceramics, pantings, statues, carvings, dancings, etc.

Later on, Dalton mentioned Dewi Soekarno Putri, Soekarno’s japanese wife (or concubine? I don’t know exactly). Iwan briefly answered by saying: “She hired two husband-and-wife japanese to document her entire activities while she was In Indonesia, that fact proves that Dewi couldn’t live without public attention”.

Next personage was Megawati Soekarno Putri, Iwan said that she is not brilliant, her husband is. Then Dalton came with Soeharto, Iwan replied simply by saying that Soeharto is a farmer !. Later,Dalton stated the-number-one person in Indonesia, Soesilo Bambang Yoedhoyono, Iwan, once again, expressed that SBY, although he reads a lot, he is not a brilliant person.

And the last name was Luna Maya, and you know what? Iwan answered, in an innocent and honest tone: I DON’T KNOW HER, WHO IS SHE?? And he repeated that answer twice!!!!

Oh My Gosh!!!
*while staring at Dalton’s confused mimics.


Ratu Lanang Sejagat

Paper Boat

1. I was not in a good-mood for doing such a reading activity, since I was pulled into a new unexpected result of publishing my own writing, when one of my best friend recommended me a novel by my not-so-favorite author, dee.

2. There were some stacks of new arrival books in a monopolistic bookshop nearby my home, then it only took seconds for me recognizing a green and cartoony-boat-illustrated book tittled “Perahu Kertas”. First, I glimpsed impassionately its ten first pages, and nothing was special. I was not even interested to take that book to the cashier and started blaming my friend for refererring me to this ordinary love teenlit.

3. I couldn’t explain more about the fact that I did’nt stop thinking that dee’s newest writing. For an unexplainable reason, I went back to another monopolistic bookshop and spontaneously bought a copy of it.

4. Three unconsecutive days were a long time I spent in reading this scattered-plotted novel. Yet I concluded this novel as the lightest composition amid other serial and sophisticated novels of dee. I did’nt meet any complication in every chapter as simple as I could predict how the story will be ended.

5. Keenan dan Kugy, two main characters on the novel, encounter many love’s intrigues due to their fearfulness of expressing their love.

6. Interestingly, I found many sentences about either love’s magical way working in everybody’s heart or odd love’s mystery making everyone hurted. One of my favorite statement is: “Love does not choose, love is chosen”.


I’m afraid that I couldn’t interpret it appropriately.
Is anyone able to translate it for me?



Ratu Lanang Sejagat

Condoms versus Love

Last night I went to a grocery near my housing vicinity. At that moment, I had a bad stomachache so it needed instant medicine for helping my digestion problem. I started up my motorcycle, through the drizzles, I rode it to the grocery. Without any stack-seing, I directly looked for medicine aisle, and I found it in a shelve adjacent to a display for various brands of condoms. Those colorful boxes inspired me to write this, an irrefutable proof about how condoms linked with the nature of love.

First, condoms mean safety.
That’s the way love works on everyone’s heart. Love will secure our unstable feeling. Without love, human’s affection will be chanelled into a bias objective. By the power of love, our fondest expression will be safed in a perfect individu.

Second, once you break their (condoms) packages, you will never be able to use it anymore.
As love, once you break its peaceful harmony, it will be very hard for you to mend the situation back to normal, or even worse, you will lose somebody you love.

Third, condoms are elastic.
Love isn’t defined as a limited scoop in where you will spend your entire life. When you are capsized by your own love, just leave it! Because love free you to your own definition about loyalties and respects.

Fourth, condoms have various tastes.
You will feel assorted feelings when you fall in love, you will cry when you taste it’s bitter, you will cheer when you find it’s sweet, or you will be confused when you realize that it’s tasteless.

Fifth, condoms are lubricated
It is positive that every love relationship has friction. The tense will be greater when you can’t overcome it with your flexibility, so make it slicked with the reciprocal understanding between lovers.


To conclude, which taste do you like the most??? hehehe



Ratu Lanang Sejagat

When should we stop?

Someday at a corner in a busiest-intersection-located mall in jakarta, I was involved with an unintentional after-lunch conversation with my fiance. The chit-chat started somehow with her comments about people’s wrong prejudices toward true love. Both of us have propensity to consider that our current lovers are the last stop, the only person whom we engrave our future into. Hence we thought that our current lovers are the right person to get our greatest feelings of all.

Regardless those hyperboles, obviously they are not the last one. Later on, there are some successors who, in their turn, get the same exagerated emotions from us.

Then a big questionmark popped out in our minds, when would that endless and cycling senses arrive in a true destination?

Without further consideration, we suddenly answered: of course you honey!

a. You’re different

b. You don’t look like my untidy ex girlfriend, you are better.

c. You don’t sound like my snoring ex boyfriend.

d. You are the best I’ve ever had. Bla..bla..bla…

e. Now is the happiest period in my life, I’ve never felt this way before.

Surprisingly, my fiance came with her brilliant idea about the degree of feelings. She perfectly told me that we are on charge to value about “is she/he the last one?”. We could verbaly state that our curent lovers are the final, but our heart have the most genuine parameter to perfectly express our undercovered truth of love.

She continued by saying these:

a. When you can’t say even a “no” in front of him/her,

b. When he/she hurts you and you don’t even think to hurt him/her back,

c. When you have no any capability of getting angry to him/her.

It does mean that your love degree is in a peak, and you are better considering to stop at this point, make up your mind, before it becomes antiklimaks which in the end you would sorry for the rest of your life.

Ratu Lanang Sejagat

Rollercoastering Love

A maritimes-themed clock hung in my bedroom’s wall rang five times, accompanied half-naked-me to go asleep at a dawn in the past. I just downstaired ten minutes before, and I had been there for about four hours, mourning the pity of my love stories. I am a genuine male, had never been crying for love before, even when all my girls broke me up with whatever reasons, I did solemnly resist my tears to drop. Until that night I surrendered with my past lover chopping my heart into a stack of debris of my love’s hall. Frankly to say, at that time, I was completely not a robust man dealing with my own feelings, instead I was a cocky ones getting learned that even a concrete stone will be ruined by merely the continuous drops of water.

I was still a teenager when I admitted for the first time the power of true love. Needlessly to say, I disbelieved anything about “termehek2 karena cinta”, since I thought that was totally irrational and over-expressive. I trusted to the firmed rules about man-version loves which proclaim that there’s no even a single word in a man’s dictionary indicating the term of “broken-heart”. Here are we, the male, who have wits and charms to mesmerize all the stupid girls outside there, and the female are destined begging for love from us.

Again, when I tried to persist these would-be super arguments, I met to no avail. And thanks to my (third, fourth or fifth? Ummm…I forget a bit, let say fourth, haha) fourth girlfriend who left the most powerful impression about love.

Of course, my live shall be continued right? And here am I now with a girl, not a replacement nor a substitute, but definitely put alakazzam inside my chest, then blow it by the pure and odorless fresh air of affections.

Yes, I finally ressurect from my very long hibernation, ready to pick my postponed true love. By the end of my finding-process, hopefully God will print a label “permanent belonging” and attach it to my girl then send it to me with one-night-service delivery.

Lastly, what I learn from is “don’t ever think that love is plain, tasteless, impassionate and ordinary, it could be a destroying-godzila or lusting-miyabi at one times, so you therefore ought to be ready to be clamored or saddened by it”.


PS: specially dedicated to a girl with my-name-written-ring in her finger.


Ratu Lanang Sejagat

Disrespectful Quake

I’m only resuming one of my friend’s statements made while making a light conversation with me in a cab several days ago, and she probably generalized them, but these were merely her personal opinions, with no intention to humiliiate or discredit a certain nation, at all. The issues are related to the quake hitting the capital city of west sumatra, sept 30, causing more than a half thousand of death tolls, as for now. Just one day after that catastrophe, my friend who had lived in padang for a couple of years (fortunately she had just moved to jakarta three months ago), explained me about the indirect causalities that might happened. She drawn a relationship between padangnese’ disrespectful manners, to its latest natural disasters.

As a native javanese, my friend is used to the hospitality, in every aspect. Based on her observation, she could not be able to find it in padang. As an example, ideally, a transaction taking place in a traditional markets is supposed to offer the flexibility of bargaining, melted and cheerful interactions, and the kinships which imposible to be adressed in a large-scale hypermarket. On the contrary, the street hawkers in padang are finding difficulties to commit such a well-marketing-strategy. In general, most of them aren’t hospitable in serving their customers. My friend even stated extremely that they never say thanks to their customers and get angry when people do bargain. That is just one scene of padangnese’ inhospitality, besides many other social interactions indicate the same circumstances.

So…up to you to judge or not to judge…wheter God punish them because of their manners or there's nothing to do with such an illogical thought...

Ratu Lanang Sejagat

Thanks Guys !!

My latest contemplation just came a couple of weeks ago, smurfing and mocking me as I am the most ungrateful person in this world. I had had no consciousness at all about the literal means of owing someone, until last week I was “slapped” by a simple and unnecessary conflict with my considered-brother.

The story began when I was in the first grade college, moving from a small and nothing-to-see town to the spotlighted metropolitan city, Jakarta. I was a 16-year-old teenager shocked by the sudden changes and the robotic-pase routines. There were no adequated supports for such a young and trickable boy like me, no parents, no relatives, in the middle of my meager life experiences.

At a predetermined moment I met several buddies living in the same lodge with me. We lived together without any hesitancy to deal with any problem. We looked like siblings, we shared almost everything but underwears and toothbrushes. There was no singular mode in our relationship, either in sorrow or joy. We equally burdened all hindrances and enjoyed all ease God gives us.

Even in financial matters, the richer helped the poorer sincerely, and in this case I was included in the secondly-mentioned ones. I have difficulties to describe how helpful they were for me whose parents are only the civil servants with frankly tiny income. They introduced me to some amusements I had never experienced before, they brought me to taste all the amenities which I had never imagined before. I ate my first sushi because of them, I knew the place called karaoke for the first time when they asked me and guaranteed me that they would not let me pay anything, I sliced my first steak due to the celebration of my best buddy’s birthday, and there are still long-long lists of “my first”.

What a blessed live it was, and I promised to my self since those “first shots”, I want to do something in return, to them who opened the windows for me glancing the wide world.

Now,in my third year as an employee by which I could earn some incomes, I have not done something meaningful for them. At times, they ask me to do some favors, and believe me, I have no reason at all to refuse them. But anything could happen right? There are always several conditions make me unable to aid them, it could be the (not) right man in the (not) right time, or perhaps my powerful selfishness defeating my gratitude manner (hmm…my bad).

But hey guys!!
I want to do to the fullest to say thanks, just say thanks for all of you!!

Ratu Lanang Sejagat

My Uncle's Advice

A story about angels versus demons would no longer be debatable now, since the clear differences between both of them are obscured and inexplicable. The most recently issue about that, happened just two days after the holy day celebration of my religious folks. One of my uncle had a mid day casual chat with me in a living room of my another uncle’s house, discussing everything from a jerk politician to a celeberity’s divorce plan. It spontaniously ended up with a very weird and unpredictable advice from my uncle about the vow his son will take soon, to be employed as a civil servant in a local government board.

He instructed his son not to say “In the name of God” in the beginning of the vow, because he believed that my cousin will never be able to fulfill it at all. He even told me how to conduct my job a little bit braver and clever to illicitly earn more money in terms of my occupation as an auditor. Then he explained more about “the best practice” he had been doing, elaborating it with further rational evidence about how to cheat and deceive all those dimwit auditee. Ck..ck..ck..

I tried to comprehend thoroughly about what my uncle meant,
But one thing I know for sure, shouldn’t an uncle advice his nephew about the deeds, moralism and the truth, even if he doesn't do so?

Ratu Lanang Sejagat

One Legged Beggar

Almost one month ago I had to attend a compulsory-course aiming to increase its participants’ ability in english. The course was held in the one skyscraper in the south part of jakarta, rasuna said exactly, not really far away from my office. Indeed, it needed habbitual adaptation in the way I commute daily. Usually I go for my ofice by ex-japan-air-conditioned-t

rain, it takes only fifteen minutes from my starting-station in Bintaro with a five-minutes-additional-walk from Palmerah station to my Gatot-subroto-office. That is a main reason persisting me to reside permanently in where I’m living now. No traffic jam, dustless, no need to say: bronchitis.

That linguistic course asked to rearrange my everyday-morning route, whether by trains, buses, or motorcycles. Hence I decided to keep taking the train up to the further station, Tanah Abang, and continue my trip by kopaja to Bank Indonesia bus shelter, and finally by trans jakarta bus with once transitting on Dukuh Atas shelter. Later on I realized that I merely made my self travel 1,5 times further than I supposed to do. What a shame! The next day I figured out the shorter ones, I stopped in Palmerah Station, kept walking for five munites to the Gatot Subroto Street, taking any bus going to Cawang, and continuing my trip in mampang intersection by 66 or 20 Kopaja. That was absolutely shorter and cheaper, but less comfortable.

That unusual routine gave me a lot of new, eye-opening and heart-wrenching stories about how tough to survive in this harsh capital city. One experience I’d like to share was about the one-legged beggar on the overpass in front of my course-premise. First day I passed that bridge, I saw a beggar sat there, cleaning the floor by using a coconut-tree-made-from broom. It was absolutely a mercy coming out from my self when witnessing a middle-aged man, restlessly, cleaned public spaces without even asked any money or help from any body. What I did next after glancing him with a vivid pitifull was giving him some coins and hoped those would be useful for his today-meals.

And you know what? Something happened during two months later making me feel that I was an idiot and too-easily-melted-hearted person. Actually that beggar sat over there, precisely in the same spot, everyday. He merely moved his broom to the left and the right, bringing the rubbish to the edge then bringing it back to the middle. He repeated it over and over without even dumped that rubbish to somewhere out there. He kept that waste for the next day when he will sit in still the same place,use the same broom, play the same garbage and deceive people by attracting their mercy and help. Whoof…what a perfect acting for everyone who passed that oeverpass once or twice.

But this is jakarta, this is life.
Stronger, survive.

Ratu Lanang Sejagat

A story behind my engagement

It was more than two months ago when my entire attention was channeled to my engagement preparation. The eagerness to organize all the detailed items put me into the worst exhaustion I had ever had, psychologically and physicly. One of my greatest ambition I want to realize at that day was inviting none of my friends but those who are the closest to me. Thus I decided to ask three of my best buddies to come and witness the metamorphosis of my single-guy-freedom into an oblivion (well, yes, I exaggerated this part, haha). At the end of the one-day-before my engagement day, I was positive that those three buddies would attend my party with all their pride to notify that one of their best friend, finally, put his anchor into a harbour, after his long and endless sail.

I was getting busy with all the caterings, my family’s acommodation and the run-down of the ceremony, and because of their prior attendance confirmation, so I thought that it was unnecessary to reconvince them about their arrival in jakarta. For your information, ones was taking flight from riau and another from manado. I begged my jakarta-resided buddy to welcome both of them and arranged them while in jakarta. Everything ran well until the early morning at the day, my manado’s buddy just sent me an sms stating his attendance cancellation due to an obscured reason . What a shockhing and hard-to-believed information?

I secretly cursed his impolite manner and kept my disappointment for the only reason, i didn’t want to ruin my hopefully-once-in-a-life-t

ime celebration. But believe me, nothing worse than that.

Ratu Lanang Sejagat